1) Waxing hurts like hell, but is highly effective.
2) You really learn who loves you.
3) One fourth of the people who tell you they are going to come do not come. It makes you really mad because you have spent $50 to feed each one of them.
4) People feel that returning a “No” RSVP will hurt the couple’s feelings. What it really does is anger the bride.
5) I apparently cannot sleep when I have loads to accomplish. But I can live on little sleep.
6) A wedding is what you make of it. Even with all of the disappointments – people not showing up, running around like a chicken with its head cut off trying to accomplish last minute tasks, the expense, the headache of your fiancé changing *big* things without telling you, etc – it can still be fun..it's just all what you make of it. From 3 PM on Thursday afternoon on, I was so happy – and if I can speak for my new husband, so was Ben.
7) If you are not affiliated with a church, it is hard as hell to get officially married in Chattanooga.
8) If I ever hear that it’s easy to go to the courthouse and get married ever again, I will scream. Judges are public servants, yet they apparently do not feel as if they should actually serve the public. They will not return your phone calls and will not marry you. End of story.
9) The Tennessee River Place was the best place in the world to have a wedding. I could talk at length about them but will leave it at that.
10) It is very helpful to know local people. My manicurist set me up with the perfect florist. I love you Jim O’Dell!
11) People will surprise you - in both good ways and bad.
12) I don’t have to give amazingly terrific gifts anymore. I have been spending too much money all of these years.
13) What they all say is true – no matter if you schedule pics to be taken before the wedding or not (like we did) – you will not be able to eat your dinner. Period. Tell the caterer to set aside two complete meals for you and your groom. I’m so glad we did this. I ate around midnight, I think...and by that time, I really needed it.
14) Your cake can be super cute AND taste good.
15) Taking 2.5 days off before the wedding is a grand idea. Shoot - make it three - I would have if I could.
16) Welcome bags are a fun way to start the event.
17) Funny koosies have a dual purpose – not only are they a great favor, but the come in handy at the reception.
18) It’s difficult to part with your centerpieces, but you’re leaving town for over a week so you must give them away.
19) Writing your vows (compiled from friends & family vows, as well as a little bit of book help from The Knot) is the best idea in the world. So was having someone very close doing the ceremony.
20) I walk very fast.
21) Always have a back up plan - including a backup dress. Thank you White House Black Market for providing me with the dress I put on after the hook on my real dress broke!
22) A white dress is a magnet for stains -and my dad apparentely can’t keep a beer straight up.
23) Being photographed is fun.
24) Making a wedding suit you is the only way to go. I picked interesting invitations, an interesting cake, different flowers, etc – and that’s what made it so much fun. And so me.
25) No matter what you plan, something is going to go wrong. Nothing drastic went wrong with us, but I never did get to put the picture in the sign in frame, Roger accidentally played that horrible Lonestar song, the bartender showed up later than planned, and we forgot to do the toast. But ultimately, who cares? We had a fantastic time.
26) Without live music, a ceremony really loses a certain feel. It is well worth the few hundred that you will pay to have a live musician(s) play. And the local university is the place to ask around.
27) Dancing to “our song” was sweet. That was one tradition I'm glad we did.
28) Being able to say no to certain traditions is ok. You do not have to toss a bouquet, take off a garter, etc if you don't want to. Just do what feels right - not what modern convention tells you you should do.
29) Bring your laptop so that you can download photos during the afterparty or the next morning’s brunch. Otherwise, you go on your honemoon wondering how you looked.
30) Traditional dresses are more appropriate for even our location and our offbeat style. Save the beachy, informal dresses for the beach (unless it’s your second wedding).
31) We are incredibly lucky people with pretty darn awesome friends and family.
32) Ben is not much help in planning things.
33) The end of September in Tennessee is the most ideal time of year to get married. We could not have asked for better weather - we were so fortunate in our beautiful day.
34) Someone's feelings are going to get hurt - some people just want to take offense to things - so you have to overlook their pettiness. It's not about them or making them happy - it's about making you happy - it's your wedding day.
35) Excel is your friend. You will make many lists throughout the planning process (obviously a budget, but also - a list of music you want played before, during & after the ceremony, song you'll be announced to, music played during dinner, music played during dancing, your seating chart, who you invited & who has responded yes and no, what's left to take care of, what needs to be taken to the sight the day of, what's coming home the next day, etc, etc), but the most important spreadsheet will be your thank you list. Have cells for who it's from, what it is, when you recieved it and if you have sent the thank you card yet.
36) The most important thing is staying organized.
37) Plan your wedding in the town you live in -unless you are willing to give over control of things to someone else. If you want to be involved in every detail, then you should definitely have it where you live.
38) The night after the wedding you will crash. I was asleep at 9:30.
39) You will go overbudget. In all honesty, we did not go overbudget by very much at all...but we still did. That's just how it goes.
40) Renting a few colorful table linens to jazz up the plain white ones is expensive - so just tie ribbons around every other chair and put colored cloths down on every other table. It looks cute and it's half the price.
41) Do not schedule very many things for you or friends or family to take care of the day of the wedding. Pay premiums to vendors if you have to so as to have them arrange for things - unless it's a ridiculously priced premium. You as the bride will not be able to be there for most of the day (and when you do get there, you will be getting ready), so idiot proof what you need taken care of. And back up is having your best friend know how everything is supposed to be. Thanks, Jess! :-)
42) Write all of your checks & put them in thank you cards in the days leading up to the wedding bec there will be some people you will pay the day of. Write the person's name and what service they are providing on the envelope, then entrust with a responsible person. Again, thanks jess!
43) If you are having an evening wedding, don't forget to eat something for lunch. One more time, THANKS JESS! :-) She made me sit down and eat when I wanted to take care of things.
44) Be prepared for people to comment on the things you picked - especially if you do things a little off the wall like we did. They're not all going to be nice comments. Some people think that anything outside of cookie cutter weddings is weird & therefore disappointing. But the pleasure you receive from the people who "get it" far outweighs the negativity.
45) When it's all over, and you return from your honeymoon, there will still be tons of things to do. Thank yous to write, gifts to clean and put away, etc. About 2 weeks later when things calm down, your husband will turn to you and say, "Things seem so boring now." :-) There has been so much excitement and enthusiasm from friends and family for months leading up to the event that when it's all over going back to the normalness of regular life takes some getting used to.
46) Those brides that lose all kinds of weight and say it's due to anxiety are lying. They are starving themselves or working out excessively or both. A husband and a mom recently ratted out some brides I know.
47) It feels good to be married to someone you love.
48) It is difficult to change your name. I have decided that I am not going to for now.
49) Saying your vows to one another is an emotional rush - it truly, truly is. I thought the whole thing would be just a recitation - but in fact, you feel every word down to your core.
50) Having children around makes things so much livelier and fun.
I am so glad we did it. There were many, many times in these last few months (and the days leading up to it especially) that I thought, “I wish we had just run away to get married”. But ultimately, I am sooooo glad we did the whole thing. We would have missed out on a very special event in our lives had we not. I am glad that we have the memories and the photographs. I'm surprised the spine on the book hasn't broken yet, I've looked at them so many times! Hehe.
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